Well, look on the bright side. It could have been a lot worse...
I would like to start this review by saying I love Robocop. By that, of course, I'm referring to Paul Verhoeven's 1987 classic starring Peter Weller. It was a lot of fun, and there were enough blood-squibs to keep me satisfied. It was campy, bloody, goofy, and, like I said, a whole lot of fun. These great things cannot be said about the remake, unfortunately. After hollow action remakes like Total Recall, Planet of the Apes, and The Italian Job, expectations were low for this flick. In fact, I'm pretty sure most wrote it off from the get-go. People expected it to be terrible, which, as it turns out, wasn't the result. Robocop, directed by Jose Padilha, is the near definition of an "okay" movie. I understand why they can't make this funny and satirical. Back in the late 80's, DVD players weren't even invented yet. The whole concept of drones was futuristic, so having it be a satire works. It's 2014, the concept of putting a man inside a machine doesn't seem so ludicrous now, in fact, it is a possibility if not a probability. You can't make the story a satire anymore, you have to play it more straight; which is the direction the filmmakers took, and maybe a little too far. You don't have to make it extremely funny or goofy, but that doesn't mean it has to be humorless. The fact is, as a huge Robocop fan, I find the premise to be funny. Here this guy is walking around like a Robot, squeaking every time he turns his robotic head- it puts a smile on my face. Here the writers and director are trying to shove pathos in my face, with this new family storyline that I'm suppose to just start caring about for some reason. You can't have an emotional scene between a young boy and his robotic father and have your audience take it seriously.
That being said, if one tries to ignore the conflicting feelings throughout the film, some enjoyment can be found. The action scenes are generally well-choreographed. Specifically the training scenes, which a lot of people didn't like for some reason. It was a cool new take on the concept of a robotic police officer to show the training, and I didn't mind the somewhat cheesy rock music playing throughout. It felt like a nice little callback to 80's action flicks. A flattering callback, unlike the shoe-horned in score from the original. Which leads me to another complaint- all the callbacks. I really hoped to walk into this movie and leave not constantly comparing it to the original, which is sort of the case. I only compared it a few times, particularly the few times it reminded me that I am watching a remake. "I'll buy that for a dollar" and scenes like that didn't sit right with me. I wanted the similarities between the remake and the original to begin and end with 'policeman is a robot'. I don't like talking in theaters, I don't even like laughing or whispering during a movie but that "dollar" scene made me yell "come on!" to the screen. I didn't want to, but Hollywood made me. In the end, the thing I recommend most is to never compare this to the original. Seriously, just don't- it will crumble in comparison. It's not the goofy Robocop we've all come to love, but it's not terrible like Robocop 3. The film is played very straight, which does diminish some enjoyment. But the action is great, it tried to do something new with the premise which is admirable. If you go into this movie thinking it will suck, then you are in for a pleasant surprise. If you go in thinking it'll reign superior to the great work of Verhoveen, then you will leave disappointed. Final Rating: B-
