Fantastic Four Movie Review

 

It's Like Watching Money Burn in front of Your Eyes.

Fantastic Four, directed by Fox Studios, stars studio interference, a talking rock, and a bad guy shooting a blue laser into outer space. And if that's hasn't sold you, that's probably for the best. The film follows a group of young scientists trying to discover the key to inter-dimensional travel. All doesn't go according to plan, and they inadvertently gain mutations that alter their physical form. Ever since the success of X-Men: Days of Future Past, people have been anticipating Fox Studios' attempt at assembling a superhero cinematic universe that will give Marvel Studios a run for their money. After a few failed attempts at bringing the franchise to life, Fox tries once again to assemble Marvel's original superhero team. Unfortunately, through sloppy writing, behind the scenes drama, and Fox Studios infringing upon the director's creativity and vision, Fantastic Four ends up becoming one of the biggest disappointments in the superhero genre, and one of the worst films of the year. Essentially, Fantastic Four is two different movies. There is the film that director Josh Trank envisioned- a dark, slow-burn, horror/sci-fi film, and then there is the movie the studio decided to manufacture-a loud, dumb, terrible embarrassment. The first 2 acts of this movie are truly pretty decent. I like the tone, the set-up, the actors, and the storyline was a lot better than the past FF incarnations. And then, at the drop of a hat, the film turns into utter garbage. Terrible acting, sloppy direction and editing, cheesy special effects, and a completely underdeveloped and incredibly stupid looking antagonist. I compare the film as a whole to an Olympic diver who leaps into the water with great form and confidence, only to screw up at the last second and belly-flop, making a complete fool of himself. Even though there were certain elements of the film I liked, this movie is the embodiment of how the business side of film-making can completely overshadow the artistic side. Final Score- C-

Terminator Genisys Movie Review

This is like the 6th blockbuster starring Jai Courtney in the past 3 years, the spelling of Genisys is truly the least of our problems. 

He's back. Again. From Alan Taylor, director of the underwhelming movie with a bunch of explosions and fighting (Thor 2), as well as the show with Emilia Clarke and zombies (Game of Thrones), comes Terminator Genisys- the underwhelming movie with a bunch of explosions and fighting, as well as Emilia Clarke and a zombie named Jai Courtney. It is a given that the last 2 Terminator films were huge disappointments. While Genisys may be the best Terminator film since T2, I'm still not oblivious to the fact that this movie was thoroughly underwhelming. Despite this, it definitely had it's moments. The callbacks to the past films were not as annoying as they appeared in the trailers. Sarah Connor telling Kyle Reese to "come with her if he wants to live" didn't seem like a lazy rehash from what came before it, but a nice subversion from the original film that fit the overall story. Another saving grace is Schwarzenegger himself. He can do the role in his sleep, which is more of a testament to the simplicity of the character than of his acting ability. Beyond Arnie and some cool moments, including a well-choreographed scene taking place on the Golden Gate Bridge, the film falls completely flat. The dialogue is cheesy, the attempts at humor seem forced and half-hearted, the overabundance of CGI is obnoxious, Emilia Clarke doesn't bring the Sarah Connor grit we loved so much from Linda Hamilton, the timeline and overall plot is more convoluted than any of the past Terminator films, and Jai Courtney is in this movie. Why do they still cast Jai in movies? Just...why? The past couple of years have been very interesting in terms of rebooting disgraced franchises. The Planet of the Apes series, X-Men, Mad Max, Jurassic Park, 21 Jump Street, Godzilla, Superman, and later this year, Star Wars. All of these films, more or less, shocked the world and made films on par or superior to what came before (besides Superman). Even though the cast seemed off, and the director is mediocre in my eyes, I still had high hopes for Terminator Genisys. Studios are beginning to realize that if you craft a good product and slap a popular name on it, money and positive reviews will rake in. But all this movie proved was that the Terminator story should have stopped after number two. Final Grade: C

Jurassic World Movie Review

The Park Is Open

It's been 22 long years since Spielberg's original dinosaur blockbuster, Jurassic Park, hit the big screens. Ever since the film's release, we've seen several attempts to cheaply replicate the film's magic and near cinematic perfection; not only with the direct sequels Jurassic Park: Lost World and Jurassic Park 3, but also with imitators attempting to cash in on similar formulas, such as Roland Emmerich's widely beloved Godzilla film...But it's safe to say that the dinosaur genre has hit a rough patch over the last 15 years, with countless straight-to-DVD films such as Raptor, Age of Dinosaurs, 10 Million BC, The Dinosaur Project, The Eden Formula, etc. Haven't seen those movies? Good. Don't. But the Jurassic Park brand is back and ready to put the genre back on the top of the cinematic food chain. From Colin Trevorrow, writer/director of 2012's indie hit Safety Not Guaranteed, comes Jurassic World. Decades have passed since the events from the original film took place, but somehow John Hammond's unique but disastrous vision is coming to fruition. The park is open, and they spared no expense- except when it comes to hiring employees, kinda dropped the ball on that one. The film stars Guardians of the Galaxy star Chris Pratt as Owen Grady, and co-stars Bryce Dallas Howard, once again showing the world that nepotism is alive and well in Hollywood. Sarcasm aside, here are my thoughts on Jurassic World- it's good. I am tempted to even say very good, but there are still a few problems that weigh the movie down, and despite it being a fun summer action movie, these problems still must be addressed. First off, the entire In-Gen subplot seemed completely unnecessary.

The concept of militarizing the raptors is fun, but you don't need 20 minute long conversations between Pratt and the great Vincent D'onofrio's mustache-twirling antagonist to establish that obstacle. It slowed the movie down with it's boring, poorly-written dialogue. Despite this unnecessary subplot, and a some poor characterization and forced humor, the movie does deliver on what it promises- fun. That's what made the original so great and memorable- there was this tremendous feeling of wonder and awe. It treated the original film with respect, and still managed to bring something new to the table.  The dinosaurs look great and threatening, the environments are familiar and exciting, the pacing was brisk and fun, and it got serious when it needed to be. Is it as good as the original? Heck no. But only a few movies, in my opinion, have come close to the majestic nature of the first. If you go in expecting it to top Spielberg at his best, then you will leave disappointed. But if you loved the first one and are hoping for a film that does it justice, then Jurassic World is the film for you. Final Grade- B+ 

Mad Max: Fury Road Review

Did I watch the same movie as everyone else?

George Miller returns to live action film-making after years of making stories about singing penguins. Awesome.

The world has plunged into chaos. We are running out of vital resources. Everyone has become insane and reduced to a single instinct- survive. Mad Max currently stands at a 98% rating on Rotten Tomatoes, a 8.9/10 on IMDB as well as a 89 on Metacritic, and is seen as one of the greatest action movies not only of the year, but of all time...ugh...

Film is subjective. I may love a movie and think it's one of the best films ever made, and someone else may think it's a piece of crap. That's the way cinema works and that's what's so wonderful about it all- there's something for everyone. That being said, Mad Max: Fury Road sucked and I'm right and you're wrong. Okay, I'm just joking but still, SERIOUSLY? This film is being compared to T2, Die Hard, The Matrix; this movie has no business being in those types of discussions. I simply do not understand why this movies is being so universally loved. Don't get me wrong, I loved the look of the movie. It felt dirty and lived-in, the cinematography and stunt choreography is out of this world. The usage of practical effects is mind-blowing. But at the end of the day, if I don't care at all about the people driving a car in a movie, I'm not going to care if it crashes- no matter how crazy and realistic it may look. I did not care about any of these characters whatsoever, which is disappointing because you have some amazing acting talent here including Tom Hardy, Nicholas Hoult, and probably one of the best working actresses today- Charlize Theron. But none of them were given any real time to shine. The first hour of the movie there were maybe 10 lines of dialogue, most of which were bad ADR. Fury Road is just 2 hours of flashy, gritty, ridiculous, crazy, and gratuitous shots of cars flipping over and exploding laced together by a thin plot lead by characters you don't care about and don't root for. You can only give me a cat and mouse story for so long before I start wanting the mouse to just get caught so I can go home and sleep. I was not invested whatsoever, I was just waiting for it to end, and I kept wondering how much blood Max can give to people before he just dies already. I have to watch this again and maybe my views will change, but as of right now this is probably one of the most overrated movies I've seen in quite sometime. Poor story, thin plot, nameless insane characters, and no clear stakes- but hey, cool explosion. Final Grade- C+

It Follows Movie Review

A movie about a sexually transmitted demon. I swear, they should really show this movie in some sort of Sex Ed class; it will thoroughly get the point across. 

Don't worry horror fans, the Annabelle's and Ouija's of the world can't hurt you anymore. From writer/director David Robert Mitchell comes a horror film centered around Jay- a nice, attractive, young girl with her whole life ahead of her. However, after having sex for the first time with her mysterious boyfriend, she discovers that he passed a curse on to her that causes a terrifying entity to follow her wherever she goes. No one else can see it, no one can help. It can take any form. The only way to survive is to pass it on to someone else, or run- if it catches you, 

you're dead. 

Let's begin with the negative feelings I have towards the film. From the get-go, this premise sounds relatively preachy and peculiar. It's executed wonderfully, but when analyzed deeply, it's just a small little metaphor for AIDS- nothing more, nothing less. It Follows can be appreciated as an ambitious piece of artful cinema, but not so much as a coherent narrative. Occasionally the complete subversion of expectations and diversion from the formulaic horror movie story structure works against the film instead of in it's favor. But in the end, one can't help but fall in love with it's retro-style approach to the material. Novice director David R. Mitchell is clearly influenced by the late 70's- early 80's style of film making. It harkens back to a time when horror movies were directed by Academy Award Winner Stanley Kubrick or legendary film director Brian De Palma, and not by a soulless movie studio hoping to make a couple bucks. There are some real, genuinely well-crafted shots in the film. It reminds you how innovative one can be with a camera. The actors all do their jobs well. No character seems cliched, however, this somewhat works against the film since no one was extremely memorable either. The sound design was average for a movie with this low of a budget, but it excels when it comes to my favorite aspect of It Follows- the score. That freaking amazing score. It's retro roots are seen most in the film's Carpenter-esque soundtrack that is simultaneously beautiful and haunting. Overall, It Follows was a nice little trip to the theaters. It didn't keep me up all night, but it certainly kept me entertained. The fresh story structure is admirable while also a little off-putting, but there is so much to enjoy in It Follows that I'm willing to forgive most of it's flaws. Final grade- B+

Avengers: Age of Ultron Movie Review

OH. MY. DEMIGOD.

The Avengers are back. And by god, I can not get this stupid grin off my face. 

3 years ago, Joss Whedon's Avengers Assemble broke all the records, grossing over $600,000,000 domestically, and over 1.5 billion worldwide. It was widely praised for it's humor and pure fun, as well as it's amazingly entertaining action. Since the 2012 hit, the MCU has grown and evolved; taking on many different genres and characters. Now, the superhero team reassemble- and in amazing fashion. Let me get this out of the way- I do NOT know if Age of Ultron is better than the first Avenger installment. It's a tall order, for I feel Avengers is the greatest comic book film ever made. While I don't know if it's the BEST superhero movie of all time, I sure as hell know it's up there with the greats. Avengers: Age of Ultron is amazing. It is fun, emotional, action-packed, and completely engrossing. There were several times in this film where I forgot I was in a theater packed with complete strangers- I was so focused and drawn-in. This is mostly due to these amazingly fleshed-out characters. I hesitate to even call these characters "Characters", we've spent so much time with them they are beginning to seem like real people. It's...kinda weird. There have been many critics that are bashing this film. They are throwing around words like "Disappointment" and "inferior", which I completely disagree with, but I can somewhat understand it. 2012's Avengers was a completely unprecedented piece of cinema; we have simply never seen this type of thing before. The films leading up to Avengers were Thor, Iron Man 2, and Captain America: The First Avenger. Overall, these films are considered the least amazing films in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. It set the bar kinda low, and people weren't hoping for the greatest superhero movie of all time, they were hoping for a movie that wasn't a complete disaster- and it worked. Man did it work. In 2015, following The Winter Soldier and Guardians of the Galaxy, the bar is set in freaking space. Now people aren't expecting a good flick, they're expecting the best adventure/action film ever made- which, it's not. But it is still SO AMAZING!!!!! It's not a perfect film, there are a few moments that drag on, there are some confusing character motivations, and it even felt a bit rushed at times. But the amount of pure fun you have with this movie should make you forgive all these flaws. The action is some of the best I think I've ever seen. There is a lot of action, but it never really felt gratuitous like in other superhero films *cough*Man of Steel*cough*. Sorry I was coughing- it wasn't stupid and gratuitous like Man of Steel. It was utilized well, and was placed at the appropriate times. But the action isn't the best part of the film- it's the heart. I went into Avengers 2 expecting a fun action film with great characters and great humor. I had no idea it would make me feel the way it did. There are some really emotional and intriguing scenes in this movie. People tend to claim that superhero movies don't display the true acting talent of the actors- well those people can shut their mouths now. There is some great acting and amazing character moments in the movie. Whedon is so amazing at balancing his characters, delving in their back-stories and making them more vulnerable. That is what I love so much about these movies. These characters are portrayed as super and heroic, while also being so incredibly human. All these characters have their moments to shine- especially Hawkeye. The first Avengers film was really well-balanced, but you can't deny that Hawkeye's character was greatly side-lined. Whedon makes up for that, big time. Hawkeye very well may be the best character in this film; and there's a lot of competition. The whole main crew is back, with a few new additions. In the post-credit scene for Winter Soldier, we were introduced to super-twins Scarlett Witch (Elizabeth Olsen) and Quicksilver (Aaron Taylor-Johnson). They're the product of Hydra scientific experiments, and they have a bone to pick with Tony Stark. The two make great additions to this film. They bring great heart and sympathy. You want to detest them for what they do to the Avengers, but as the film progresses, your feelings for them may change. Changing feelings, however, will not be had for the films baddie Ultron (voiced and motion-captured by the great James Spader). Ultron is a creation of Stark and Banner gone wrong; but Ultron is all kinds of right. He's menacing, sarcastic, maniacal, and totally committed to see the world destroyed- and only the Avengers can stop him. 

Avengers 2 is a flawed film, but it is entertaining and well-made. Writer/Director Joss Whedon was exhausted after making the film, and you can see why. There is so much going on in this movie. A lot of good, a LOT of great. You care about the characters, there are some really great character moments, and the pace is fast and fun. The action is amazing and unlike the Transformers movies, you actually know what's going on. If you don't like superhero films, this movie won't convert you. However, if you enjoy these stories, and you have cared for these well-developed characters, this film is far from a disappointment. It's extraordinary. And I cannot wait to see this again, and again..and again. Final Rating- A- (needs repeat viewings). 

Kingsman: The Secret Service Movie Review

Slick, Bloody, and Extremely Entertaining. 

From Matthew Vaughn, the director that saved the X-Men franchise after director Brett Ratner took a steaming crap all over it, comes Kinsman: The Secret Service; a movie I like to define as a Bond movie on ecstasy (crack? I don't know drugs).  The film stars Academy Award Winner Colin Firth (King's Speech), 2-time Academy Award winner Michael Caine (The Dark Knight Trilogy), and a chick with a awesome sword as a leg. While that may sound like Oscar bait, it's far from it. Kingsman is undoubtably the best movie on the year, and one of the best action movies I've seen in a while. The film is based off of what I hear is a crazy graphic novel, and it's incredibly fun from start to finish. What I particularly loved about this movie was that it combined everything I loved from Vaughn's previous films- X-Men: First Class and Kick-Ass. It had the fun underdog feel of both films, the gratuitous stylized violence from Kick-Ass, and the fun action training montages from First Class. Matthew Vaughn reported that he turned down the offer from Disney to helm the new Star Wars film so he could do this, and what I wonderful choice indeed. The action scenes, particularly one taking place in a church, were so insane and intense you can't tear your eyes away from the screen. Samuel Jackson also stars in the movie, marking his 400th film this year, as the film's lead lisp-having antagonist. While the lisp can be distracting at times, you grow used to it after the first hour. Overall, the film is exciting and fun. It may not be the smartest movie, the characters might not be as fleshed out as you'd hope, and the lead antagonist's quirks may get old quick, but it makes up for all of it's flaws by presenting and engaging story, innovative action and quick wit. Final Rating- B+